Facebook and other social media outlets are wreaking havoc on relationships. Every time your partner comments on someone’s photo or someone comments on yours it has the potential to become a fight, or a grudge, or a misunderstanding. That’s why I have taken a controversial stance and I now think that you should never be friends with your spouse on Facebook.
I know you’re thinking that’s crazy and that I can’t see what my partner is doing on Facebook. But that is exactly why I don’t want to be my partner’s Facebook friend. I trust my partner and I don’t need to police his online behavior. And for too many couples social media becomes a way to control their partner instead of a way to enjoy talking to friends and family. Or going to travel destinations together, instead of checking each other’s Facebook posts.
People In Healthy Relationships Keep Them Private
How many times have you seen a friend so many photos of them and their partner declaring their love for each other? Everyone has at least one friend that does that. And it’s so annoying. But also studies have shown that people who overly share or who are overly demonstrative about their relationship on social media usually have relationships that are about to crack. The healthiest relationships are relationships where couples are not listening to phone calls of their spouse.
There’s Too Much Room For Misunderstanding
Even couples that have great communication skills can slip up and misinterpret something online. A private message that is read out of context or comments that weren’t suggestive being taken in a suggestive way could cause an argument. Or a misunderstanding with emojis from your spouse on Facebook. It’s much better to leave all that mess out of your relationship and just not be focused on who your partner is talking to online. No one needs more stress, and social media can be very stressful.
No One Is As Interesting As They Think
I don’t need to my partner’s 15th status update of the day or his photos from his college days. He tends to try out his best social media material on me first. Frankly, no one is interesting as they think they are. If I read all about his day on his Facebook updates all day we will have nothing to talk about at home after work. I like not knowing what happened in his world until he comes home and tells me. Face to face, and not in 180 characters.
Those are not all of the reasons why I think you should never be friends with your spouse on Facebook but those are the biggest reasons. All lost comments, likes, and emojis can suggest something that you don’t intend. And your partner will not be happy about that. Leave a little mystery in the relationship. It will make the relationship stronger. While this is not for everyone, I do suggest trying it, and seeing if it helps your relationship. I know I have seen improvements in mine since starting this.